Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize