Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Randomize
