It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize