so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
