You can't motorboat a personality
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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