Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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