wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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