she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
