I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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