I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
