I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
this boner is exhausting
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Randomize
