I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
