you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
