i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
