And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
