i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
