Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
