sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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