so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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