He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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