At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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