I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
