My room smells like vodka and shame
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
