Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
