woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Tornado booty call.. dedication
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
