were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
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