I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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