he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
