Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Your cock deserves a montage
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
