it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
