got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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