What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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