Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
