i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
