He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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