Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize