Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
