My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize