Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
