If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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