at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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