Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I have fence marks all over my body
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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