She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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