I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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