That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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