$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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