Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
