You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
