well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
organizing the empties. That sober.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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