Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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