WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
