Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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