I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
