We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I didn't notice because vodka
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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