Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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