the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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