I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
