How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize