I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
