My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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