I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
