You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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