He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just google imaged poop.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
