I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You've changed since you got that strap on
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
