it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I think your dad took our porno
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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