my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Welp...herpes.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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