I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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