this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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