Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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