Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
